Ammara Brown mourns her young sister Chiedza

Amara and late sister Chiedza

My sister Shahla banged on my door at 3 am, wailing, last Sunday..telling me my little sister Chiedza (15) had taken her own life..After a few seconds of gut wrenching shock, there was an inexplicable pain in my womb, and I soon went into a painful state of hysteria..uncontrollable cries…I could not utter a single word for hours and hours..

…I remember when she was a toddler, Daddy would treat her differently. I asked, immaturely, “Daddy, why do you spoil Chiedza?” He said “She’s a premature baby. I’ve been reading a book on psychology, which explains that they are more sensitive than other children.

You must parent differently.” From then on I treated Chiedza as Daddy advised, and God knows, she turned out to be the most kind hearted and loving soul of us all. Backstage at ZIFF 2011, Daddy said “Mmara have you heard Chiedza play mbira?” 

We went back stage to hear her, beautifully playing what later became “Next Lifetime”. Sadly by 2012 Chiedza, Chiwoniso and I were dedicating it to our father who had then passed away.

When Chi passed I sat in the room with Chiedza as she began to compose “Go Well.” We played it with Chengeto all the way to Chakowa, and when we arrived Chengeto sang while me and Chiedza played our nyungas till our nails broke. It was powerful beyond anything you can imagine. There was so much heart, so much spirit, and so much love.

They soon left for America and I have not seen Chiedza since.

Speaking to her, she was always putting on a brave smile, but perhaps losing both parents was too much..perhaps being away from home was too much..

I am struggling to understand. Acceptance is a mountain of a task for me at this point and I am at a great loss for comfort… Maybe when she gets home I will feel the beginning of peace …

Above and beyond losing a young mbira queen, we have lost an angelic soul. No laugh can replace hers, and her sweet voice is still echoing in my head.. I will remember her for her true innocence, and her warm spirit. I will miss my mbira partner but most of all I will miss my baby sister..we will miss our baby girl…

When I found the strength to pray I asked The Almighty to forgive her and guide her soul to Dad and Chi. We will meet again some day, my baby girl. Go well little sis..Go well.. I will love you forever

Source: Ammara Brown Fanpage