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A 38-year-old man from Durban, Mbuso Ngema was told by his doctor that he had only less than six months to live following a terminal cancer diagnosis.
Now the man has come out to the media to claim there is not even an ounce of cancer remaining in his body. He accidentally cured himself of the disease when he decided to have as much se_x as he could before dying.
His doctor, Dr Lee Andreas backed up the story and said that the man’s blood shows no more signs of the cancer which had been threatening his life only a few months ago.
“When he first came to me, I told him he just had a few months to live because his cancer was rapidly spreading. It was progressing so quickly that I did not expect him to last two months at most. His condition was so bad that even if a seizure had occurred, he would not make it,” the doctor recalled.
“I am certainly shocked at this miraculous recovery but I am very happy for him. I mean who wants to die, like ever? While I am a man of science there is no doubt that this is clearly the hand of God, there is no other explanation that comes to mind,” he said
When Mbuso was hit by the meteorite that he had a few months to live, he refused to give up, as has always been the motto in his life!
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| Dr Lee |
“I have had me a few tough breaks in life,” he admitted. “But every time life has sent me a jab, I always responded by an uppercut,” acknowledged the former amateur boxer. “When I learned I had so little time left to live. I withdrew all my funds and bought myself a ticket for Thailand. For months, I partied hard as hell and had as much se_x as I wanted,” he admitted with no trace of shame.
“Oh man, I lived like a king those crazy days. I took all drugs, I could lay my hands on and boozed every day from dusk till dawn. I had a bunch of hot Asian girls living with me, I had my own little harem, you know, my own personal cook and butler, for a few months of my life, I lived like KIng Solomon in the bible,” he recalls with nostalgia.
“Most days felt like Johnny Depp in the movie Don Juan DeMarco, where he is in the harem and spends years having se_x with hundreds of girls. I had se_x like one breathes air. I tried every day to sleep with more and more women, but I was never able to beat my record of having sex 18 times in one day.”
Although the miraculous recovery is intriguing to most medical practitioners, Dr. Alan Bates believes the “extreme partying” might explain the disappearance of the cancer
“It is possible that all the se_x and drugs, which could have killed him, did in fact the opposite” explains Dr. Alan Bates, Head researcher at the New Orleans School of Medicine.
“Endorphins have been found to have a powerful effect on certain kinds of cancers. A prolonged rush of endorphins, through the practice of non-stop se_xual intercourse for a period of months, as well as the use of different drugs could have rendered the cancer totally incapacitated,” he adds. “This is a fascinating case study that would benefit from being reproduced under laboratory conditions and could eventually help find alternative solutions to the treatment of cancer by the administration of endorphins to the body,” he acknowledged
The retired accountant has officially taken back his position and he says his near-death experience has permanently changed him for the best and given him a more positive attitude towards life.
Let’s hope he’s not “HIV positive” from having intercourse more than 1000 times during his harem days.
Source:iMzansi Satire
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